Whenever Never Either Sometimes

I was searching for Nuprin online and came across this post that I’d like to share with you.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

An Ode To Nuprin. We Hardly Knew Ye.

It all started with a request from one of my favorite customers. Yes I have favorite customers, some of which are not even hot women. “Can you help me find the Nuprin?” Said the woman, who may or may not have been hot.

It was a slow part of the day, only three of the six phone lines being lit up, so I decided to take a look. The name “Nuprin” flooded my brain with happy memories, like an old friend you haven’t heard from in years. I soon found out why the old friend had gone silent. There was no Nuprin.

“This can’t be happening, surely I’m just overlooking the Nuprin” I thought as I scanned, rescanned, and double scanned every last inch of the analgesic aisle.

You could say that Nuprin was responsible for me becoming a pharmacist. I remember as a young DrugMonkey the sense of awe and wonderment I felt knowing that one of the magical preparations kept in that mysterious world behind the counter was now available to me. I wanted to learn all I could about this new pain reliever.

It was little.

It was yellow.

It was different.

It was ibuprofen, and in 1984, Nuprin, along with it’s partner Advil, took the pain relieving world by storm. I became drunk on the taste of drug knowledge learning about Nuprin had given me, and I soon applied to pharmacy school, starting me on the path to where I am today. So really, considering where I am today, you could say that Nuprin ruined my life. I don’t blame it though. All Nuprin wanted to do was ease the world’s pain just a little bit.

But now it was gone without a trace, and I didn’t even notice it’s passing. A frantic search of other retailer’s pain relieving sections turned up only one empty slot where Nuprin should have been. Advil has gone on to bigger and better things, caplets, geltabs, a suspension even, and piece of shit over the counter meds like Milk of Magnesia and Epsom salts continue to thrive, but it would seem Nuprin is on it’s last legs.

What the fuck is up with Epsom Salts anyway? Great cutting edge medicine you got there in the Epsom salts. Cutting edge from the Civil War. Dammit it’s not fair!!! I could have done more. I should have done more…….for the Nuprin. Take your Milk of Magnesia and shove it up your ass.

Actually, don’t. Neither one of us would be happy with the result.

Times may be tough Nuprin, but i know you’re a fighter from the way you’ve taken on my toughest pain in the past. That empty slot I found tells me you’re not completely gone. That empty slot represents hope. The hope of a young drugmonkey that thought pharmacy might be a good way to earn a living. Hope that is empty, but not completely written off.

Fuck Advil. Posted by DrugMonkey, Master of Pharmacy at 12:51 AM      Labels: General Weirdness
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